Dr. Narcissus, a narcissistic psychologist with a notorious reputation for arrogance and self-absorption, existed once upon a time. One day he received an invitation to interview a special monkey. The monkey had just made it into heaven safely after dispatching from a plane and into a parachute.
As the narcissistic psychologist made his to heaven, he couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of interviewing such a unique and rare monkey. A group of angels greeted him at the gates of heaven and led him to the monkey’s room when he finally arrived.
Dr. Narcissus was immediately struck by the monkey’s kind and gentle nature as he entered the room. Even in heaven, the monkey possessed a rare humility and gratitude that the narcissistic psychologist had not often seen in humans.
As the interview began, Dr. Narcissus asked the monkey about his experiences on earth. He wanted to know what had led him to heaven. The monkey told the narcissistic psychologist about his life as a performer in a traveling circus. He said that he had always tried to bring joy and happiness to those around him.
Dr. Narcissus tried to reassure the monkey that everything was going to be alright, but the monkey was inconsolable. He told Dr. Narcissus that he and the pilot had been close friends for many years, and that he couldn’t bear the thought of being without him.
As the interview came to a close, the narcissistic psychologist thanked the monkey for his time. He began to make his way back to earth. As he left the gates of heaven, he also couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness for the monkey and the pilot. He fervently wished for their reunion in heaven one day.
I have to say that this poem really hits home for me. My husband is always dragging our children off to Sydney, or wherever else his adventures may take him, pretending that he’s some kind of fearless adventurer with his imaginary monkey by his side. It’s exhausting, and I can’t help but feel left behind.
Sure, I’m happy that our kids get to experience all of the amazing things that Sydney has to offer, but it’s hard not to feel jealous when they get to go on these trips without me. And let’s not even get started on the fact that my husband is always drunk when he’s flying. It’s reckless and irresponsible, and I worry about their safety every time they take off.
Overall, I would say that this poem is a fun and whimsical look at a family adventure in Sydney, but it definitely hits a little too close to home for me. I just wish that my husband would consider staying home and spending some quality time with our family instead of constantly running off with his monkey friend.
As the night wore on at Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club in Winslow, Arizona. Jack found himself feeling more and more adventurous. He had always been fascinated by drones, and after a few too many beers. He couldn’t resist the temptation to take his out for a spin.
Despite the protests of his friends and the bartender. Who pointed out that he was in no condition to fly. Jack was determined to show off his skills. And so, with a fierce determination in his eyes and a wobbly step. He made his way out to the parking lot of Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club, where he had left his drone.
But as Jack soared through the sky, the monkey seemed to grow more and more mischievous. It was constantly trying to lick Jack’s feet and convince him to go higher and higher, even as Jack tried to keep the drone under control. The crowd at Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club were going absolutely bananas.
Despite the challenges, Jack couldn’t help but laugh with delight as he chased after birds and soared through the air like a playful monkey. As he soared through the sky, the feeling of freedom and joy that consumed him was like nothing he had ever encountered. It was as if he had been reborn, and the world was his playground.
Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club
Eventually, Jack’s drunken escapades came to an end. As he crashed his drone into a tree and passed out on the ground outside. But even as he slept, he dreamt of flying his imaginary monkey through the clouds, feeling a sense of excitement and adventure that he had never known before.
When Jack woke up the next morning, he had a pounding headache and a bruised ego. But he couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the incredible experience he had had the night before. And as he stumbled back into Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club to nurse his hangover. He made a mental note to himself to stick to the brewery’s signature IPA in the future – it was the best beer at the bar, after all.
I had always been a bit of a party animal. I loved nothing more than a good drink and a wild night out, and I had traveled to some amazing places all around the world to experience the best parties that each location had to offer. But as I approached my 40th birthday, I started to feel like something was missing. I was feeling pretty down in the dumps and couldn’t shake the feeling that my life was going nowhere. I needed to do 30 Days, 30 Marathons.
That’s when I decided to make a change. I had always been a runner, and I had always dreamed of running a marathon. So I set a goal for myself: 30 days, 30 marathons, in 30 different countries. I was up for the challenge and I was going to give it my all.
I had an imaginary monkey named Bob by my side, cheering me on and giving me positive affirmations. “You can do this!” he would say. “Just think of all the amazing benefits you’ll experience!”
But Bob wasn’t always helpful. In fact, he seemed to delight in trying to sabotage my efforts of 30 Days, 30 Marathons. He would sneak cigarettes and alcohol into my suitcase, and he would try to convince me to skip my runs and go out partying instead.
Despite Bob’s best efforts, I managed to stick to my plan. I traveled to some amazing places all around the world, from the beaches of Bali to the streets of Paris, and I ran a marathon in each location. It was a grueling schedule, but the sights and sounds of each new place kept me motivated.
Marathon Makeover
As the days went on, I started to notice some incredible changes. I was sleeping better than I had in years, and I had more energy during the day. My skin was clearer, and I even lost a few pounds. I also found that I was able to concentrate more easily, and I was less prone to making mistakes.
The real cherry on top was the emotional transformation I experienced as a result of 30 Days, 30 Marathons. Suddenly, I was a joyful and contented individual, no longer stuck in a rut. It was as if I had won the emotional lottery and acquired a brand new lease on life. I was practically bursting with excitement at the thought of what the future might hold.
Of course, it wasn’t all easy. There were definitely times when I wanted to give up and have a drink. I had come too far to give up, so I dug deep and kept going. I was determined to see it through to the finish line.
30 days, 30 marathons
And when I finally crossed the finish line of the 30th marathon, the feeling of accomplishment was indescribable. I had more energy, more focus, and more joy than I had in years. I knew that I couldn’t keep up this pace forever, but I also knew that I had gained some valuable insights that I could take with me for the rest of my life.
So if you see me out on the town, don’t be surprised if I’m a little more subdued than usual. I’ve learned the value of moderation, and I’m not about to give up the newfound sense of balance I’ve found. Thanks, Bob, for all your help (even if it was sometimes unintentional)!
Are you tired of feeling unfulfilled and unaccomplished in your day-to-day life? Do you constantly seek ways to boost your self-esteem and make yourself feel good about yourself? Well, look no further, because we have the solution for you: verbal masturbation.
So, what the hell is verbal masturbation? It’s the ultimate self-love session: verbal masturbation. It’s the act of talking about yourself in a way that makes you feel like the goddamn king or queen of the world. Go ahead and indulge in a little self-aggrandising monologue – we all need a little ego boost from time to time. It’s self-gratification through words. Get it? It’s a way to stroke one’s own ego and feel good about oneself, without actually having to do any real work or accomplish anything meaningful.
And let’s be real, who doesn’t love a good ego boost? We all have those moments where we just need to feel a little bit special, and verbal masturbation is the perfect way to do that.
Verbal Masturbation: Give Someone A Good Ear-F*cking
But the benefits of verbal masturbation don’t stop there. It’s also a great way to impress others and make them think you’re more accomplished and impressive than you actually are. Just start talking about all the amazing things you’ve done and all the incredible places you’ve been. Before you know it, people will be hanging on your every word.
And let’s not forget about the social benefits of verbal masturbation. It’s a great way to make small talk and fill awkward silences in social situations. Just start talking about yourself and your accomplishments, and before you know it, you’ll have a whole group of people hanging on your every word.
So, let’s be real – we could all use a little verbal masturbation from time to time. Whether you’re feeling down on yourself or just craving an ego boost, this self-love session is the way to go. Just start talking about all your amazing accomplishments and watch the magic happen. And the best part? No actual work required. So go ahead and treat yourself to a little verbal self-gratification. Your ego (and everyone else) will thank you.
I’m a bit of a wild card, always up for an adventure and a good time. As a pilot, I have the privilege of traveling the world and experiencing all it has to offer. But one question that always seems to come up when I’m out partying with my friends is, “Was Elvis Presley a pilot?”
I’ve always been curious about this question myself, so I decided to do some research and finally get to the bottom of it.
The Evidence
According to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), Elvis Presley held a private pilot certificate.
He was also a certified multi-engine instrument pilot, which means he was trained to fly in various weather conditions.
There are several photos of Elvis in the cockpit of various aircrafts, including a twin-engine Convair 880 jet.
He even had a custom-made pink and black Lockheed Jetstar, which he named “The Lisa Marie” after his daughter.
So, it’s clear that Elvis Presley did in fact hold a pilot’s license and had a passion for flying. But what was his experience like as a pilot?
Elvis’ Flying Experience
Elvis reportedly logged over 600 hours of flight time, which is quite a significant amount.
He primarily flew his own personal aircrafts, often using them to travel to concerts and appearances.
According to his friends and associates, Elvis was very cautious and safety-conscious while flying.
He also took regular flight training to maintain his pilot’s license and improve his skills.
It’s clear that Elvis Presley was not just a pilot in name, but also in practice. He had a genuine love for flying and put in the time and effort to hone his skills as a pilot.
The Final Verdict – Was Elvis Presley a pilot?
So, was Elvis Presley a pilot? The answer is a resounding yes. Not only did he hold a private pilot’s certificate and had a significant amount of flight time, but he also had a passion for flying and made it a regular part of his life.
But while we’re on the topic of Elvis Presley, let’s also remember his other passions. He was a lover of good food, art, and books. He kept himself fit and healthy, and was always experimenting on himself. He was quite aloof, and that’s what made him the King of Rock and Roll.
In conclusion, it’s clear that Elvis Presley was not just a pilot, but also a multifaceted individual with a variety of interests and passions. He truly was the King, not just of Rock and Roll, but also of the skies.
So, next time you’re out partying and someone brings up the question, “Was Elvis Presley a pilot?”, you can confidently say yes and share your newfound knowledge with them.
As a final note, being a pilot is not just about flying an aircraft, it’s also about being responsible, safety-conscious, and continuous learning. I always strive to be the best pilot I can be, and I believe that’s what Elvis Presley did too.
Happy flying, and let’s all raise a glass to the King of Rock and Roll and the skies, Elvis Presley.
As a drunken pilot with a never-ending thirst for gambling and an interfering imaginary monkey, I was ecstatic to get my hands on “Straight Flush” by Ben Mezrich. And let me tell you, this book did not disappoint!
I was immediately captivated by this outrageous tale of a group of college friends who dared to enter the high-stakes world of online gambling with the launch of Absolute Poker. This book is a thrilling ride from start to finish, and I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough as I followed these guys on their crazy journey navigating the cutthroat world of poker. This is a must-read for anyone looking for a heart-pounding, edge-of-your-seat story.
As a pilot, I can relate to the feeling of being responsible for the safety and well-being of others. And the added pressure of running a successful business only compounded that stress. “Straight Flush” by Ben Mezrich did an excellent job of capturing the frenetic energy and cutthroat nature of the industry. As well as the constant need to stay one step ahead of the competition.
Straight Flush & Personal Dilemmas!
But it wasn’t just the business side of things that kept me turning the pages. Straight Flush also delved into the personal lives of the characters, exploring their relationships, rivalries, and moral dilemmas. As I turned the pages of this book, the rollercoaster of emotions that I experienced almost sent this old, drunk pilot spiraling out of control! But I held on tight and rode it out, and boy, was it worth it. This book really took me on an emotional ride that I won’t soon forget.
As a successful yet drunk poker fiend, I unfortunately know all too well the feeling of losing a fat stack. When the Absolute Poker bust went down, I personally lost a whopping $111,696.11 of my own money. It was a tough lesson, but one that I’ll never forget. The only winner out of all of this seems to Ben Mezrich the author of “Straight Flush”.
And let’s not forget about my trusty imaginary monkey, who couldn’t resist chiming in with his own thoughts and opinions as I read. “Ooooh, I love a good gambling story!” he exclaimed at one point. “But man, I feel for you on that huge loss. That’s rough, buddy.”
Highly Recommend: Straight Flush by Ben Mezrich
In conclusion, I highly recommend “Straight Flush” by Ben Mezrich to any and all readers with an interest in online gambling or just a wild and outrageous tale of greed, betrayal, and redemption. Just be prepared for my monkey to chime in every now and then with his own thoughts and antics!
Are you tired of the same old boring way of boiling eggs? Well, fear not, because we’ve got 10 methods that are sure to spice up your egg-boiling game! Inspired by the wild and wacky antics of a crazy pilot and his unruly imaginary monkey, these techniques are guaranteed to make your taste buds dance and your friends go wild. So grab a pan and a carton of eggs, and get ready to boil like you’ve never boiled before!
1. The Classic Way To Boil An Egg
Ok, here’s the deal. You take those boring old eggs and put them in a saucepan. Then you cover them with some cold water and turn on the heat. When the water starts to boil, you turn it down a bit and let the eggs cook for about 12 minutes. Then you turn off the heat, drain out all the water, and rinse the eggs with some cold water. And boom, you’ve got yourself some boiled eggs. Now, where’s the fun in that? I mean, where are the explosions? The fireballs? The monkey hijinks? If you ask me, this is just a snoozefest. But hey, if you’re into boring and predictable, then go ahead and give this method a try. I’ll be over here trying to light my eggs on fire.
2. The Quick Boil
You take those eggs and plop them in a saucepan, then you cover them with some cold water and turn on the heat. When the water starts to boil like crazy, you turn off the heat and let the eggs sit there for about 6-7 minutes. Then you drain out the water and rinse the eggs with some cold water. And boom, you’ve got yourself some boiled eggs. Now, let me ask you, where’s the excitement in that? I mean, where’s the danger? The thrill of the unknown? The chance to make a big ol’ mess?
3. The Steamed Boil
You want ’em all fancy-like, steamed and stuff. I mean, who doesn’t love a good steamed egg? It’s not quite boiling an egg but it’s still hot water. Am I right?
Anyways, so you gotta get yourself a steamer basket. You know, one of those wirey things that you put your veggies in when you’re steaming ’em. And then you put the eggs in there. And then you steam ’em for, like, 12 minutes. Or maybe it’s 11. I don’t know, I can never remember. Just set a timer or something, you’ll figure it out. And then, when the timer goes off, you gotta take the eggs out of the steamer basket. And then you gotta drain ’em. Like, pour all the hot water out or something. I don’t know, I’m not a chef. And then, the final step, the cherry on top, the icing on the cake, you gotta rinse those bad boys with some cold water.
Yum, now you’ve got yourself some fancy-ass steamed eggs. Congrats, you’re a master chef. Now let’s go get drunk.
4. The Baked Boil
Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. We will be landing shortly, but before we do, I just wanted to remind you all to preheat your ovens to 325 degrees. And don’t forget to put those eggs in a muffin tin and let them bake for about 30 minutes. Wait, what’s that monkey doing back here again? Oh no, he’s got the controls! Monkey, no! Alright, where was I? Oh right, the eggs. When they’re done, be sure to remove them from the oven, drain them, and rinse them with cold water. Thanks for flying with us and we hope to see you again soon…assuming we survive this monkey business. And that’s the baked way to boil an egg!
5. The Microwave Boil
Put some eggs in a bowl and fill it with water. Stick it in the microwave for a bit. Take it out, let the water go down the drain, and splash some cold water on the eggs. Easy peasy, egg-squeezy!
6. The Slow Cooker Boil
Ook ook, listen up! Gotta put some eggs in the slow cooker, cover them with water, and let it cook on low for two whole hours. After that, take the eggs out and drain the water. Then give them a nice cold rinse to wash off any leftover icky bits. Ook ook, easy as pie! That’s how you boil an egg!
7. The Pressure Cooker Boil
We’re running out of time, people! Quick, put the eggs in the pressure cooker, cover them with water, and cook them on high pressure for six minutes. When the time’s up, release the pressure and take out the eggs. Drain the water and rinse them with cold water, stat! This is not a drill, people, move move move!
8. The Sous Vide Boil Way To Boil An Egg
Uh, okay. So, like, we gotta put the eggs in a bag thingy and, like, cover it with water. And then we gotta, like, cook it in a machine for, like, 45 minutes or something. And then, like, remove it from the machine and, like, drain it and, like, rinse it with cold water. Yeah, that’s it. No big deal.
9. The Grilled Boil
Time to get grilling! Preheat that bad boy to medium-high, and let’s get cooking. We’re gonna throw those eggs in a basket and toss ’em on the grill. Grill for about 15 minutes, flipping ’em every now and then to get that perfect char. Once they’re done, take ’em off the grill, drain off any excess grease, and give ’em a cold rinse to cool ’em down. It’s time to get cracking!
10. The Imaginary Way To Boil An Egg
Have your imaginary monkey sous chef conjure up some eggs and then boil them using his magical powers. Enjoy the perfectly cooked eggs, knowing that they were made with a little bit of extra special magic.
These unconventional methods are sure to add some excitement and creativity to your egg-boiling routine. Whether you’re a seasoned chef or a cooking novice, there’s something here for everyone. So go ahead and give these techniques a try, and let us know which one was your favorite in the comments below. And as always, happy boiling!
There was once a monkey who loved to fly with his pilot friend. But one day, as they were soaring through the skies, the monkey let out a loud fart.
The pilot, who had had a few too many drinks, was completely disoriented and thought it was the engine that had malfunctioned. Panicked, he pulled out the emergency manual and started flipping through it, trying to figure out what to do.
Meanwhile, the monkey sat there with a smug look on its face, relishing in the pandemonium it had caused with its monkey fart.
As the pilot frantically tried to find a solution, the monkey leaned over and whispered in its ear, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Just follow my lead.”
And with that, the monkey grabbed the controls and expertly landed the plane safely on the ground, all while wafting them through the lingering monkey fart.
The pilot was embarrassed and ashamed that he had let a monkey save the day. But the monkey just chuckled and patted him on the back. “Don’t worry, old friend. We all have a little gas every now and then.”
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Inspired Poem: Monkey Fart
There was a monkey who loved to fly With his pilot friend up in the sky But one day, as they soared through the air The monkey let out a loud fart, causing a scare
The pilot, who had had a bit too much to drink Was disoriented and couldn’t even think He grabbed the manual, flipping through the pages Trying to figure out what to do in this monkey fart frenzy rage
The monkey just sat, with a smug look on its face Enjoying the chaos it had put in its place The pilot tried hard to find a solution But the monkey whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this resolution”
With a pat on the back, the monkey grabbed the controls And expertly landed the plane, fulfilling its role The pilot was embarrassed, ashamed at the monkey’s feat But the monkey just chuckled, “We all have a little gas to emit, even a monkey fart”
Once upon a time, in a small garden on Earth, there lived a little transitioning weevil named Wally. Wally was a curious and adventurous little bug, always eager to explore new places and make new friends.
Wally heard about a grand mission to colonize Mars and immediately determined to be a part of it. He spent all of his days studying rocket science, learning about the Red Planet, and practicing his space-walking skills.
After much anticipation, the day of the mission arrived and Wally was selected as one of the first transitioning weevils to set foot on the Martian surface. As he suited up and prepared for liftoff, Wally couldn’t contain his excitement.
“This is it, the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life!” he exclaimed. “I can’t wait to explore the surface of Mars and make it my new home!”
Blast Off!
As the rocket soared through the atmosphere and into the vast expanse of space, Wally couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of the cosmos. Awe and wonder filled him as he realized that this was just the beginning of his grand adventure as a transitioning weevil.
As the rocket approached Mars, Wally’s excitement reached new heights. He could hardly contain himself as he prepared to step out of the airlock and onto the Martian surface.
“I can’t believe it, I’m really here!” he exclaimed as he took his first steps on the rocky surface of the Red Planet.
Wally spent the next few days exploring the rugged terrain. He took samples of the soil and rocks, and made friends with the other transitioning weevils who had come along on the mission. Having the time of his life, he knew that this was just the beginning. He knew that this was just the beginning of a new era for weevilkind.
Transitioning Weevil out from Mars
As the mission came to a close and it was time to return to Earth, Wally couldn’t help but feel a little bit sad. He had fallen in love with Mars and the idea of colonizing it. He knew that he would always cherish the memories of his time there.
But he also knew that there would always be more adventures waiting for him. He couldn’t wait to see what the future held. With a heavy heart, Wally said goodbye to Mars. He prepared to make the journey back home, eager to share his experiences with all of his transitioning weevil friends.
