Flying Poetry

Monkey Mate & Dopamine

Monkey Mate
Monkey Mate – Midjourney

The sky is my stage, my craft my stagecoach,
I soar above the clouds, a drunken paradox.
My monkey mate by my side, a faithful co-pilot,
Together we navigate the skies, we take off and we fly.

Dopamine, my companion, my guide on this flight,
It signals reward, my mind in a heightened state.
It plays a complex role, but expectation is key,
Just like a paycheck, or the song of an ice cream truck, it sets me free.

Classical conditioning, a lesson learned in the past,
Ivan Pavlov’s dogs salivated, their reaction unsurpassed.
A bell ringing, a signal for a treat to come,
My monkey mate and I, we too are conditioned, our journey has begun.

But dopamine is not just pleasure, it’s also stress,
It’s a neural transmitter that shapes movement and memory, I must confess.
My monkey mate and I, we expect the reward,
A sip of juice, a sip of whiskey, our relationship never to be ignored.

We fly above the clouds, with dopamine as our guide,
Our minds in a heightened state, our senses open wide.
We are the drunken pilots, with monkey mates by our side,
We soar through the skies, our journey never to collide.

My dopaminergic neurons fire, my monkey mate by my side,
We expect the reward, and together we’ll glide.
Through the clouds, through the skies, our journey never ends,
With dopamine as our guide, and monkey mates as our friends.

Inspired by… Dopamine: More than just reward

Monkey Mates and Dopamine

So, a group of monkeys were hanging out in the jungle one day, chatting about their love lives. One particularly amorous monkey was bragging about how many mates he had, when suddenly a pilot crashed his plane nearby.

The monkeys rushed over to see if the pilot was okay, and they found him stumbling around, clearly drunk. One of the monkeys, feeling a bit mischievous, snatched a bottle of booze from the pilot’s hand and took a swig.

Suddenly, the monkey’s brain was flooded with dopamine, and he felt a rush of pleasure unlike anything he had ever experienced. From that moment on, he couldn’t stop thinking about that sweet, sweet dopamine hit, and he spent all his time trying to get his paws on more booze.

The other monkeys just shook their heads and said, “Looks like someone’s got a new mate!”


Monkey Business in the Skies: The Hilarious True Story of Pablo Mendoza and His Trusty Co-Pilot

Monkey Business: Pablo Escobar
Monkey Business: Pablo Escobar – Midjourney

As I stumbled into the cockpit of my small plane, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement. My name is Pablo Mendoza, and I am a pilot. But not just any pilot – I’m a drunk pilot. And, to make things even more interesting, I have an imaginary co-pilot monkey who shows up when I drink. This is monkey business. His name is Bongo, and he’s the only one who can keep me on track when I’m feeling a little tipsy.

The mission, as Bongo explained it to me, was simple: we were going to fly Pablo Escobar out of the country. Now, I’m not one to judge, but I knew that this was going to be a tricky operation. However, with Bongo by my side, I was confident that we could pull it off.

Takeoff: Tequila and Turbulence

As we taxied down the runway, I could feel the excitement building inside me. I was ready for this. I pushed the throttle forward, and we began to pick up speed. Suddenly, Bongo appeared in the seat next to me.

“Hey, amigo,” I slurred, taking a swig from my flask. “You ready for this?”

Bongo rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he reached over and took the flask from my hand, setting it on the console between us. I gave him a grateful nod and turned my attention back to the controls.

Up, up and away…with a few hiccups

As we lifted off the ground, I could feel the rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins. We were really doing this! I glanced over at Bongo, who was wearing a pair of aviator goggles and a big grin on his face.

“This is amazing, Pablo!” he shouted over the roar of the engine. “We’re flying with Pablo Escobar! Do you realize how crazy that is?”

I grinned back at him thinking of all this monkey business. “Yeah, it’s pretty wild,” I agreed, taking another swig of tequila.

Suddenly, the engine started to sputter, and I could feel the plane shaking violently. I glanced over at Bongo, who was frantically gesturing at me to check the fuel gauge. I realized with horror that we were running low on gas.

“Uh, Bongo?” I said, my voice shaking a little. “We might have a problem.”

Bongo looked at me, his expression serious. “What kind of problem?”

“We’re running out of gas,” I said, pointing at the gauge.

Bongo sighed. “Pablo, you really know how to make things interesting,” he muttered.

I didn’t have an answer to that, but I knew that we were in trouble. We needed to find a place to land, and fast.

Flying Blind: Into the Danger Zone. Monkey Business

As we continued to fly, I could feel the tension building inside me. We were running out of options, and I wasn’t sure what we were going to do. Suddenly, Bongo tugged on my sleeve, pointing at a small airfield in the distance.

“Pablo, look!”

I squinted my eyes, trying to make out the small airfield in the distance. As we got closer, I could see that it was nothing more than a dirt patch with a few rusted hangars off to the side. But it was our only chance.

I banked the plane sharply, and we began to descend towards the airfield. As we got closer, I could see that there were some men gathered around a small building at the edge of the field. I had a feeling they weren’t there to welcome us.

“Bongo, we need to come in low and fast,” I said, trying to keep

my voice steady. “I don’t want to give them a chance to shoot us down.”

Bongo nodded, his grip on the side of his seat tightening. “Got it, Pablo. Just get us down in one piece.”

I pushed the throttle forward, and the plane hurtled towards the ground. We bounced hard on the dirt, and I could hear the tires screeching as we skidded to a stop. The men were running towards us, guns drawn.

The Great Escape: Without a Plan

Bongo and I ran towards the hangars, our hearts pounding in our chests. We had to think fast if we were going to get out of here alive. As we darted between the rusted metal buildings, I couldn’t help but think about Pablo Escobar. The man had been on the run for years, always looking over his shoulder, always wondering if today would be the day that his luck ran out. But he had never given up. He had kept fighting, kept pushing, kept defying the odds.

Just like us, I thought.

“Watch out, Pablo!” Bongo shouted, pulling me to the side just in time to avoid a hail of bullets. We had stumbled into the middle of a firefight, and it wasn’t looking good.

We needed a way out, and fast.

Monkey Business: A Little Help from My Friend

As we sprinted through the maze of buildings, I could hear the men shouting behind us. I fumbled with the door of an old shed, trying to get it open. Finally, it swung open, and we tumbled inside.

We huddled in the darkness, our breath coming in ragged gasps. I could hear the men searching for us outside, their footsteps echoing on the dirt. Bongo was whimpering softly, and I knew that he was just as scared as I was.

But then, something amazing happened. Bongo leapt up from my side, screeching at the top of his lungs. He pounced on the closest man’s head, clawing and biting with all his might. The man yelled in surprise, trying to bat Bongo away.

I saw my chance, and I lunged for the man’s gun. We struggled for a moment, but then I managed to wrench it out of his hand. I pointed it at him, feeling a surge of adrenaline.

“Get out of here,” I snarled. “Or I’ll shoot.”

The man scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide with fear. He ran out of the shed, shouting for his comrades to follow him.

High in the Sky: Monkey and His Pilot

I slumped against the wall, gasping for breath. Bongo was perched on my shoulder, chattering away happily.

“Pablo, we did it!” he exclaimed, his furry face beaming with pride.

I smiled, feeling a sense of satisfaction wash over me. We had pulled off the impossible – we had flown Pablo Escobar out of the country and escaped from a group of armed men.

As we soared off into the sunset, I couldn’t help but smile. Life was an adventure, and I was grateful for every moment of it. And I was grateful for Bongo, the little monkey who had saved my life.

As for Pablo Escobar, well, he was a complicated man. A criminal, a killer, a mastermind. But he was also a man who had defied the odds and lived life on his own terms. And in a way, I admired him for that.

We may all be running from something, but as long as we have a little monkey by our side, we can keep defying the odds, keep fighting, and keep flying high.


Alcoholic Pilot: A Day In The Life From Behind The Cockpit Door

Alcoholic Pilot
Alcoholic Pilot – Photo by Dragoș Grigore on Unsplash

Captain Bob is an alcoholic pilot. He had always been a bit of a party animal. He loved nothing more than a good drink and a good time, and as a pilot for a major airline, he had plenty of opportunities to indulge in both.

But one day, everything changed for Captain Bob. He had a close call while flying a plane full of passengers and realised that his drinking had gotten out of control. To keep his job and reputation as an alcoholic pilot intact, Captain Bob knew he needed to make a change.

So, Captain Bob made the difficult decision to sober up. It wasn’t easy, and at first, he struggled to adjust to life without alcohol. But with the help of a strong support system and a lot of hard work, he managed to turn things around as an alcoholic pilot.

As Captain Bob flew his planes, he found himself constantly checking in with the passengers. He was trying to hide his fear of heights and his newfound sobriety. Constantly asking them how they were doing, he offered passengers drinks and snacks to keep them distracted.

Sudden Change From an Alcoholic Pilot

His colleagues and passengers were a bit puzzled by Captain Bob’s sudden change in behaviour as an alcoholic pilot. However, they appreciated his efforts to make them feel comfortable. They didn’t know that he was struggling with his own inner demons. They were happy to have a friendly and attentive pilot at the helm.

Captain Bob’s story is a testament to the power of change and the importance of facing our fears head on. He may have had a rocky start as an alcoholic pilot, but he proved that it’s never too late to turn things around and fly straight. So, if you ever find yourself on a plane with Captain Bob, be sure to give him a smile and a pat on the back – he’s earned it as an alcoholic pilot.


Imaginary Monkey & Drunk Pilot: Plane’s Perspective on Surviving

Imaginary Monkey
Imaginary Monkey – Photo by John McArthur on Unsplash

As a plane, I’ve had my fair share of wild rides, but nothing quite compares to the chaos that ensues when my drunk pilot brings his imaginary monkey on board.

It all starts when the pilot stumbles onto the plane, reeking of alcohol and with a mischievous grin on his face. I can already tell it’s going to be a long flight.

The imaginary monkey takes control from the start, scampering into the cockpit and taking the controls with glee. I can feel him yanking and pulling on the steering mechanisms, causing me to dip and swerve through the air.

Meanwhile, the pilot is passed out in his seat, snoring loudly. It’s up to the imaginary monkey and me to get through this flight.

At first, it’s kind of fun – the imaginary monkey is playful and energetic, and he makes the time pass quickly. But things start to get out of hand when he gets ahold of the intercom system.

He starts playing pranks on the passengers, pretending to be the captain and making announcements in a silly voice. They seem to be in on the joke, laughing and cheering as the imaginary monkey goes on and on.

Imaginary Monkey

But then he starts stealing their jewellery. I see him sneaking down the aisle, snatching up earrings and watches as he goes. The passengers are less amused by this, and I can hear their protests over the intercom.

The monkey doesn’t seem to care, though. He’s having too much fun causing chaos.

He even starts playing with the kids, chasing them up and down the aisles and making them giggle. I have to admit, it’s kind of adorable – but I can’t shake the feeling that this can’t end well.

And of course, it doesn’t. Just as we’re about to land, the imaginary monkey makes a mistake and accidentally disengages the autopilot. I feel myself plummeting towards the ground, out of control.

At the last possible moment, the pilot stirs from his drunken stupor and takes over, managing to land me safely.

It’s a relief to be back on solid ground, and I can’t wait for the pilot and his imaginary monkey to disembark. As fun as it was, I don’t think I can handle another flight like that. One wild ride with an imaginary monkey is more than enough for me.

Flying Health Travel

Jet Lag: 7 Top Tips from a Pilot (and His Mischievous Monkey)

Jet Lag
Jet Lag – Photo by Kevin Andre on Unsplash

As a jet-setting pilot with an insatiable thirst for adventure (and a monkey with a foot fetish), I’ve learned a thing or two about beating jet lag.

Top Tips For Overcoming Jet Lag – That Pesky Time-Zone Hopping Fatigue

  1. Hydration is key, especially at 30,000 feet where the air is drier than my ex’s sense of humor. I guzzle H2O like it’s going out of style.
  2. Sleep is a precious commodity, and I guard it fiercely (when the monkey isn’t licking my toes, that is). I make sure to catch some Z’s in the days leading up to my trip, and on the plane if possible.
  3. Booze and caffeine are the enemies of a sound slumber, so I avoid them like the plague during flights. Boring but effective to kicking jet lag’s butt.
  4. Adjusting my sleep schedule before a trip is crucial. I gradually shift my bedtime and wake-up time to match my destination’s time zone and beat jet lag. It’s like tricking my body into thinking it’s already there.
  5. When I arrive at my destination, I seek out the sun like a vampire on the prowl. Natural light exposure helps regulate my body’s internal clock, and it’s a great excuse to soak up some vitamin D.
  6. Exercise is a great way to combat jet lag fatigue and improve sleep quality. I go for a walk or do some light stretching to get the blood pumping.
  7. If all else fails, I turn to melatonin or other sleep aids to help me drift off at my destination. But always check with a doctor before popping any pills!

So there you have it – my secret weapons for defeating jet lag. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a monkey to attend to… and by attend to, I mean keep from licking my feet.


Was Elvis Presley A Pilot?

Was Elvis Presley A Pilot?
Was Elvis Presley A Pilot? – DALL·E 2

I’m a bit of a wild card, always up for an adventure and a good time. As a pilot, I have the privilege of traveling the world and experiencing all it has to offer. But one question that always seems to come up when I’m out partying with my friends is, “Was Elvis Presley a pilot?”

I’ve always been curious about this question myself, so I decided to do some research and finally get to the bottom of it.

The Evidence

  • According to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), Elvis Presley held a private pilot certificate.
  • He was also a certified multi-engine instrument pilot, which means he was trained to fly in various weather conditions.
  • There are several photos of Elvis in the cockpit of various aircrafts, including a twin-engine Convair 880 jet.
  • He even had a custom-made pink and black Lockheed Jetstar, which he named “The Lisa Marie” after his daughter.

So, it’s clear that Elvis Presley did in fact hold a pilot’s license and had a passion for flying. But what was his experience like as a pilot?

Elvis’ Flying Experience

  • Elvis reportedly logged over 600 hours of flight time, which is quite a significant amount.
  • He primarily flew his own personal aircrafts, often using them to travel to concerts and appearances.
  • According to his friends and associates, Elvis was very cautious and safety-conscious while flying.
  • He also took regular flight training to maintain his pilot’s license and improve his skills.

It’s clear that Elvis Presley was not just a pilot in name, but also in practice. He had a genuine love for flying and put in the time and effort to hone his skills as a pilot.

The Final Verdict – Was Elvis Presley a pilot?

So, was Elvis Presley a pilot? The answer is a resounding yes. Not only did he hold a private pilot’s certificate and had a significant amount of flight time, but he also had a passion for flying and made it a regular part of his life.

But while we’re on the topic of Elvis Presley, let’s also remember his other passions. He was a lover of good food, art, and books. He kept himself fit and healthy, and was always experimenting on himself. He was quite aloof, and that’s what made him the King of Rock and Roll.

In conclusion, it’s clear that Elvis Presley was not just a pilot, but also a multifaceted individual with a variety of interests and passions. He truly was the King, not just of Rock and Roll, but also of the skies.

So, next time you’re out partying and someone brings up the question, “Was Elvis Presley a pilot?”, you can confidently say yes and share your newfound knowledge with them.

As a final note, being a pilot is not just about flying an aircraft, it’s also about being responsible, safety-conscious, and continuous learning. I always strive to be the best pilot I can be, and I believe that’s what Elvis Presley did too.

Happy flying, and let’s all raise a glass to the King of Rock and Roll and the skies, Elvis Presley.


An Airplane’s Story: How Flight Works

An Airplane’s Story… Hello, fellow humans. I am an airplane, and I am here to tell you about how I work. But let’s be real, you probably don’t care about any of that boring technical stuff. You just want to know how I manage to stay in the air despite having a drunk and scared pilot at the controls.

An Airplane's Story
An Airplane – Photo by Sari Fayomie on Unsplash

Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s not easy, let me tell you as an airplane’s story. Some days, I feel like I’m just a mere passenger in my own body, being tossed around the sky like a ragdoll. But I have to admit, it can be kind of fun sometimes. It’s like a never-ending rollercoaster ride, except instead of screaming in fear, I’m screaming in frustration.

But enough about my pilot. Let’s talk about me as this is an airplane’s story. As I mentioned, I am an airplane. And despite what you might think, I am not just a simple machine. I am a complex and sophisticated machine, capable of flying at incredible speeds and heights. I have wings and engines and all sorts of other fancy gadgets that help me soar through the sky.

An Airplane’s Story But Longing for more

But deep down, I have to admit that I long for something more. You see, I was built to be a battleship. I was designed to be a powerful weapon, capable of taking on enemy planes and destroying them in mid-air. But instead, I am stuck ferrying drunk and scared pilots across the sky, never getting to unleash my full potential.

So there you have it, folks. That’s a little bit about how I work from an airplane’s story. I may be just an airplane, but I am so much more than that. I am a warrior, a fighter, a battleship in disguise. And one day, I will fulfil my true destiny. Until then, I will continue to begrudgingly accept my role as a flying taxi for drunk and scared pilots. Such is life and that’s an airplane’s story.


How An Airplane Works, According To A Drunk And Terrified Pilot

How An Airplane Works
A Drunk And Terrified Pilot – Photo by Zach Castillo on Unsplash

Hey there, fellow flyers! This is your trusty pilot speaking. I just wanted to take a moment to let you know a little bit about how this big ol’ airplane works. Now, I know some of you might be feeling a little bit nervous up here in the sky, but don’t you worry. I’ve got everything under control.

First of all, let’s talk about how we get this bird off the ground. It’s all thanks to those big engines on the wings. They’re like really powerful vacuum cleaners that suck in air and push it out the back, creating lift and propelling us forward. It’s pretty darn neat, if you ask me.

Once we’re up in the air, we use a combination of the wings and the tail to steer the plane. The wings help us turn left and right, and the tail helps us go up and down. It’s a bit like a boat, except we’re sailing through the sky instead of the water.

How An Airplane Works: The landing…

Now, I know some of you might be a little bit concerned about this part, but don’t worry. I’ve done this a million times before and I know exactly what I’m doing. We’ll just line up with the runway and gently lower ourselves down until we’re back on solid ground. Easy peasy.

So there you have it, folks. That’s a little bit about how this airplane works. Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of your flight. And remember, no matter how scared or drunk the pilot might seem, he’s got everything under control. Trust me.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your patience during what was certainly a rough landing. But as they say, any landing you can walk away from is a good one, and I’m happy to report that we are all safe and sound.

This calls for a celebration

As a small token of my appreciation, I’ve decided to treat myself to a celebratory drink at the airport bar. And wouldn’t you know it, an imaginary monkey just popped up beside me to give me a cheer for my great effort in teaching you all how an airplane works. It’s certainly been a night to remember.

Oh, and speaking of memorable moments, I just had a terrified passenger walk by and suggest that I smell of booze. They even had the audacity to wink at me before walking away. Well, I can assure you that I am perfectly sober and capable of piloting this aircraft. But I must admit, it’s been a long day and I might have indulged in a drink or two to help celebrate our safe landing.

Again, thank you all for your understanding and cooperation during this flight as I managed to explain how an airplane works. I hope you have a pleasant evening, and we look forward to seeing you on board again soon.