Hungry for something new and exciting? Look no further! Captain and the monkey are here to bring you the best in food, recipes, and restaurant reviews. From fancy fine dining to greasy diners, we’ve tried it all.
Let me tell you about the Thin Slizzy Pizzeria & Bar. It’s a bloody good joint! I stumbled in there the other night after a long day of flying, and I was looking for some good grub and a cold one to wash it down with. And boy, did they deliver!
The atmosphere at Thin Slizzy was electric! It was packed with people having a good time, and the staff were all friendly and helpful. I grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered myself a Melbourne Bitter, and that’s when I met Scotty, the owner. He was a top bloke! We got to chatting, and he told me all about the neighborhood of Collingwood.
Apparently, it used to be a bit of a rough place back in the day, but it’s been gentrified over the years. These days, it’s full of hipsters and young professionals, but it still retains some of its edgy charm. There are some great street art and graffiti around, and the local music scene is thriving.
Thin Slizzy Pizza
But let’s get back to the pizza. I ordered two of them because I was starving, and they were both bloody delicious! The MEATALLICA was loaded with all sorts of meaty goodness, and the NAPOLETANA had just the right amount of salty tanginess from the anchovies and olives. And the crust? It was thin and crispy, just the way I like it. Biting into Thin Slizzy it really shows her lack of curves. F*cking delicious.
Now, I have to admit, after a few more Melbourne Bitters, my imaginary monkey friend decided to make an appearance. He was a cheeky bugger, kept trying to steal my pizza! But the staff didn’t seem to mind. They even offered him a slice, which he promptly scarfed down. We all had a good laugh, and it made for a memorable night.
Overall, I’d say Thin Slizzy Pizzeria & Bar is definitely worth a visit. The food is top-notch, the staff are friendly, and the atmosphere is lively. And if you happen to have an imaginary monkey friend, bring them along too!
Thin Slizzy Pizzeria & Bar 115 Johnston St Collingwood VIC 3066
Are you tired of the same old boring way of boiling eggs? Well, fear not, because we’ve got 10 methods that are sure to spice up your egg-boiling game! Inspired by the wild and wacky antics of a crazy pilot and his unruly imaginary monkey, these techniques are guaranteed to make your taste buds dance and your friends go wild. So grab a pan and a carton of eggs, and get ready to boil like you’ve never boiled before!
1. The Classic Way To Boil An Egg
Ok, here’s the deal. You take those boring old eggs and put them in a saucepan. Then you cover them with some cold water and turn on the heat. When the water starts to boil, you turn it down a bit and let the eggs cook for about 12 minutes. Then you turn off the heat, drain out all the water, and rinse the eggs with some cold water. And boom, you’ve got yourself some boiled eggs. Now, where’s the fun in that? I mean, where are the explosions? The fireballs? The monkey hijinks? If you ask me, this is just a snoozefest. But hey, if you’re into boring and predictable, then go ahead and give this method a try. I’ll be over here trying to light my eggs on fire.
2. The Quick Boil
You take those eggs and plop them in a saucepan, then you cover them with some cold water and turn on the heat. When the water starts to boil like crazy, you turn off the heat and let the eggs sit there for about 6-7 minutes. Then you drain out the water and rinse the eggs with some cold water. And boom, you’ve got yourself some boiled eggs. Now, let me ask you, where’s the excitement in that? I mean, where’s the danger? The thrill of the unknown? The chance to make a big ol’ mess?
3. The Steamed Boil
You want ’em all fancy-like, steamed and stuff. I mean, who doesn’t love a good steamed egg? It’s not quite boiling an egg but it’s still hot water. Am I right?
Anyways, so you gotta get yourself a steamer basket. You know, one of those wirey things that you put your veggies in when you’re steaming ’em. And then you put the eggs in there. And then you steam ’em for, like, 12 minutes. Or maybe it’s 11. I don’t know, I can never remember. Just set a timer or something, you’ll figure it out. And then, when the timer goes off, you gotta take the eggs out of the steamer basket. And then you gotta drain ’em. Like, pour all the hot water out or something. I don’t know, I’m not a chef. And then, the final step, the cherry on top, the icing on the cake, you gotta rinse those bad boys with some cold water.
Yum, now you’ve got yourself some fancy-ass steamed eggs. Congrats, you’re a master chef. Now let’s go get drunk.
4. The Baked Boil
Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. We will be landing shortly, but before we do, I just wanted to remind you all to preheat your ovens to 325 degrees. And don’t forget to put those eggs in a muffin tin and let them bake for about 30 minutes. Wait, what’s that monkey doing back here again? Oh no, he’s got the controls! Monkey, no! Alright, where was I? Oh right, the eggs. When they’re done, be sure to remove them from the oven, drain them, and rinse them with cold water. Thanks for flying with us and we hope to see you again soon…assuming we survive this monkey business. And that’s the baked way to boil an egg!
5. The Microwave Boil
Put some eggs in a bowl and fill it with water. Stick it in the microwave for a bit. Take it out, let the water go down the drain, and splash some cold water on the eggs. Easy peasy, egg-squeezy!
6. The Slow Cooker Boil
Ook ook, listen up! Gotta put some eggs in the slow cooker, cover them with water, and let it cook on low for two whole hours. After that, take the eggs out and drain the water. Then give them a nice cold rinse to wash off any leftover icky bits. Ook ook, easy as pie! That’s how you boil an egg!
7. The Pressure Cooker Boil
We’re running out of time, people! Quick, put the eggs in the pressure cooker, cover them with water, and cook them on high pressure for six minutes. When the time’s up, release the pressure and take out the eggs. Drain the water and rinse them with cold water, stat! This is not a drill, people, move move move!
8. The Sous Vide Boil Way To Boil An Egg
Uh, okay. So, like, we gotta put the eggs in a bag thingy and, like, cover it with water. And then we gotta, like, cook it in a machine for, like, 45 minutes or something. And then, like, remove it from the machine and, like, drain it and, like, rinse it with cold water. Yeah, that’s it. No big deal.
9. The Grilled Boil
Time to get grilling! Preheat that bad boy to medium-high, and let’s get cooking. We’re gonna throw those eggs in a basket and toss ’em on the grill. Grill for about 15 minutes, flipping ’em every now and then to get that perfect char. Once they’re done, take ’em off the grill, drain off any excess grease, and give ’em a cold rinse to cool ’em down. It’s time to get cracking!
10. The Imaginary Way To Boil An Egg
Have your imaginary monkey sous chef conjure up some eggs and then boil them using his magical powers. Enjoy the perfectly cooked eggs, knowing that they were made with a little bit of extra special magic.
These unconventional methods are sure to add some excitement and creativity to your egg-boiling routine. Whether you’re a seasoned chef or a cooking novice, there’s something here for everyone. So go ahead and give these techniques a try, and let us know which one was your favorite in the comments below. And as always, happy boiling!
My name is Elfie and I am going to teach you how to make Eggnog. I’m also an elf who is convinced that I am actually a monkey. I know, it’s a strange situation, but let me explain. You see, I have always felt like a mischievous, fun-loving monkey at heart, but unfortunately, I was born with the appearance of an elf. It can be quite confusing at times, especially when I try to describe how I feel versus how I look.
But enough about my identity crisis – let’s talk about something much more important: eggnog. I absolutely adore this creamy, spiced holiday drink and I can’t wait to share my secret recipe with you. Trust me when I say that this eggnog is the tastiest you’ll ever have. Whether you’re an elf, a monkey, or something else entirely, I guarantee that you’ll fall in love with its rich, festive flavor. So grab a mug and let’s get sipping!
4 egg yolks
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 cup milk
1 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg, plus more for serving
1/3 cup brandy
1/3 cup rum
1/3 cup whiskey
Instructions for eggnog:
In a medium saucepan, whisk together the egg yolks and sugar until well combined.
Add the milk, cream, vanilla extract, and nutmeg to the saucepan and place over medium heat. Cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon. This should take about 10-12 minutes.
Remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in the brandy, rum, or whiskey, if using.
Strain the mixture through a fine-mesh sieve into a bowl or pitcher and let cool to room temperature.
Cover and refrigerate the eggnog until chilled, at least 2 hours or up to 2 days.
When ready to serve, give the eggnog a good stir and pour into glasses. Grate a little extra nutmeg over the top of each serving, if desired. Enjoy!
As a monkey, I must admit that I am not a fan of food in general. I much prefer to munch on my tail or a nice piece of fruit. However, when I was invited to a degustation dinner with Heston Blumenthal and Marilyn Monroe, I knew I had to put on my best behavior and try to enjoy the food.
To my surprise, the food was actually quite revolting. Each dish seemed to be more complicated and bizarre than the last. Foams, gels, and powders were abound, and I found myself struggling to even identify what I was eating.
Despite my distaste for the food, I did my best to remain polite and not offend Heston or Marilyn. However, I couldn’t help but nibble on my tail throughout the evening in an attempt to find some sort of comfort.
Marilyn Monroe loves tail too
Marilyn Monroe must have noticed my peculiar behaviour, as she asked me if she could try a bite of my tail. I was caught off guard and wasn’t sure how to respond. In the end, I decided it was best to decline her offer and simply smile and nod.
Overall, the degustation dinner was a difficult experience for me. While Heston’s culinary creations may be impressive to some, they were definitely not to my taste. I was relieved when the evening came to an end and I could finally go home and nibble on something a bit more familiar.
After the degustation dinner came to an end, Marilyn and I decided to unwind with a bottle of wine. We found a cozy spot at the bar and settled in for a relaxing evening. As we sipped our wine, a handsome, bushy-eyed pilot appeared and sat down next to us.
Pilot is absolutely disgusted
Unfortunately, it seemed that the pilot had overheard my less-than-positive thoughts about the food and was disgusted by my opinions. He seemed to take Heston’s culinary creations quite seriously and was not pleased that I did not share his appreciation for them.
Despite the pilot’s disappointment in my tastes, Marilyn and I continued to enjoy our wine and each other’s company. It was a pleasant evening overall, even if the food was not to my liking.
As the night went on, Marilyn and I continued to chat and laugh over our bottle of wine. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, and I found myself feeling more and more at ease in her presence.
And then Marilyn Monroe made my heart flutter
At some point, I must have said something particularly amusing, because Marilyn leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. I was completely taken aback by the gesture and couldn’t help but blush.
Despite my initial surprise, I found myself enjoying the moment and relishing the feeling of Marilyn’s lips on my skin. It was a truly unforgettable experience, and one that I will always treasure.
As the night went on, I found myself getting more and more excited. The wine had definitely gone to my head, and I was starting to feel like I could take on the world.
Just like in a fairytale
In a sudden burst of energy, I stood up and declared that I was no longer a mere monkey – I had transformed into a handsome and drunk pilot!
Marilyn Monroe looked at me with a mix of surprise and amusement, and I could tell that she was having a hard time stifling a laugh. Undeterred, I strutted around the bar, trying to strike my best pilot pose.
I’m not sure if it was the wine or the company, but I felt completely invincible at that moment. It was a truly unforgettable evening, and one that I will always look back on with fondness.