Verbal Masturbation: The Art of Verbally Pleasuring Oneself

Verbal Masturbation
Verbal Masturbation – Photo by Braam Matthee on Unsplash

Are you tired of feeling unfulfilled and unaccomplished in your day-to-day life? Do you constantly seek ways to boost your self-esteem and make yourself feel good about yourself? Well, look no further, because we have the solution for you: verbal masturbation.

So, what the hell is verbal masturbation? It’s the ultimate self-love session: verbal masturbation. It’s the act of talking about yourself in a way that makes you feel like the goddamn king or queen of the world. Go ahead and indulge in a little self-aggrandising monologue – we all need a little ego boost from time to time. It’s self-gratification through words. Get it? It’s a way to stroke one’s own ego and feel good about oneself, without actually having to do any real work or accomplish anything meaningful.

And let’s be real, who doesn’t love a good ego boost? We all have those moments where we just need to feel a little bit special, and verbal masturbation is the perfect way to do that.

Verbal Masturbation: Give Someone A Good Ear-F*cking

But the benefits of verbal masturbation don’t stop there. It’s also a great way to impress others and make them think you’re more accomplished and impressive than you actually are. Just start talking about all the amazing things you’ve done and all the incredible places you’ve been. Before you know it, people will be hanging on your every word.

And let’s not forget about the social benefits of verbal masturbation. It’s a great way to make small talk and fill awkward silences in social situations. Just start talking about yourself and your accomplishments, and before you know it, you’ll have a whole group of people hanging on your every word.

So, let’s be real – we could all use a little verbal masturbation from time to time. Whether you’re feeling down on yourself or just craving an ego boost, this self-love session is the way to go. Just start talking about all your amazing accomplishments and watch the magic happen. And the best part? No actual work required. So go ahead and treat yourself to a little verbal self-gratification. Your ego (and everyone else) will thank you.

Verbal Masturbation: The Art of Verbally Pleasuring Oneself
Donald Trump & Andrew Tate

My Monkey Made Me a Crypto Millionaire

A Monkey Crypto Millionaire
A Crypto Millionaire

Picture this: I am a pilot, a philosopher, and a drinker. I have a smokin’ hot wife who I adore, and I have an imaginary monkey who shows up when I drink. Yes, you heard that right, an imaginary monkey. And this monkey has shown me the way to be a crypto millionaire. It might sound crazy, but hear me out, because this story just might change your life.

The Night My Imaginary Monkey Showed Me the Crypto Way

I was sitting at the bar, nursing a whiskey, when my imaginary monkey showed up. He looked at me with knowing eyes and said, “You need to invest in crypto.” I was skeptical at first, but he explained to me how the decentralized nature of crypto could change the world. He also said that I could make a fortune if I invested in the right coins.

How My Monkey’s Wisdom Turned Me Into a Crypto Millionaire

I took my monkey’s advice and started investing in crypto. At first, I was cautious, only investing a small amount of money. But as I started to see returns, I became bolder. I started to invest in more coins and even started trading. And before I knew it, I had become a crypto millionaire.

Believe it or Not: My Imaginary Monkey is the Key to Crypto Success

I know it sounds crazy, but my imaginary monkey has shown me the way to crypto success. He has a wisdom that is beyond this world, and I am grateful for his guidance. So if you are looking to get into crypto, don’t discount the advice of an imaginary monkey. Sometimes the craziest ideas can lead to the greatest success.

I Let a Monkey Invest All My Money. *Crypto*

Drunk in Love Lyrics

Drunk in Love Lyrics
Drunk in Love Lyrics

Here are the lyrics to “Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z. This song was included in Beyoncé’s eponymous fifth studio album, released in 2013.

Drunk in Love Lyrics

Intro: Beyoncé

I’ve been drinkin’, I’ve been drinkin’
I get filthy when that liquor get into me
I’ve been thinkin’, I’ve been thinkin’
Why can’t I keep my fingers off it? Baby, I want you, na-na
Why can’t I keep my fingers off it? Baby, I want you, na-na

Pre-Chorus: Beyoncé

Cigars on ice, cigars on ice
Feelin’ like an animal with these cameras all in my grill
Flashin’ lights, flashin’ lights
You got me faded, faded, faded, baby, I want you, na-na
Can’t keep your eyes off my fatty, daddy, I want you, na-na
Drunk in love, I want you

Chorus: Beyoncé

We woke up in the kitchen saying
“How in hell did this shit happen?”, oh baby
Drunk in love, we be all night
Last thing I remember is our
Beautiful bodies grinding up in that club
Drunk in love

Post-Chorus: Beyoncé

We be all night, love, love
We be all night, love, love

Drunk in Love Lyrics Verse 1: Jay-Z

I’m nice right now… Hold up!
That D’USSÉ is the shit if I do say so myself
If I do say so myself, if I do say so myself
Hold up, stumble all in the house
Tryna back up all of that mouth
That you had all in the car
Talkin’ ’bout you the baddest bitch thus far
Talkin’ ’bout you be reppin’ that Third
I wanna see all the shit that I heard
Know I sling Clint Eastwood
Hope you can handle this curve, uh
Foreplay in a foyer, fucked up my Warhol
Slid the panties right to the side
Ain’t got the time to take drawers off, on sight
Catch a charge I might, beat the box up like Mike
In ’97 I bite, uh
I’m Ike, Turner, turn up
Baby, no, I don’t play, now eat the cake, Anna Mae
Said, “Eat the cake, Anna Mae!”, I’m nice
For y’all to reach these heights
You gon’ need G3, 4, 5, 6 flights, sleep tight
We sex again in the mornin’
Your breasteses is my breakfast, we goin’ in
We be all night, love, love
We be all night, love, love

Chorus: Beyoncé

We woke up in the kitchen saying
“How in hell did this shit happen?”, oh baby
Drunk in love, we be all night
Last thing I remember is our
Beautiful bodies grinding up in that club
Drunk in love

Post-Chorus: Beyoncé

We be all night, love, love
We be all night, love, love

Bridge: Beyoncé

I’m never tired, never tired
I been sippin’, that’s the only thing
That’s keeping me on fire, me on fire
Didn’t mean to spill that liquor all on my attire
I’ve been drinkin’, watermelon
I want your body right here, daddy, I want you, right now
Can’t keep your eyes off my fatty, daddy, I want you

Chorus: Beyoncé

We woke up in the kitchen saying
“How in hell did this shit happen?”, oh baby
Drunk in love, we be all night
Last thing I remember is our
Beautiful bodies grinding up in that club
Drunk in love

Post-Chorus: Beyoncé

We be all night, love, love
We be all night, love

Drunk in Love Lyrics Outro: Beyoncé

And everything alright
No complaints for my body, so fluorescent under these lights
Boy, I’m drinking, park it in my lot, 7-11
I’m rubbing on it, rub-rubbing
If you scared, call that reverend
Boy, I’m drinking, get my brain right
Armand de Brignac, gangster wife
Louie sheets, he sweat it out, like wash rags, he wet it up
Boy, I’m drinking, I’m singing on the mic to my boy’s toys
Then I fill the tub up halfway then riding with my surfboard
Surfboard, surfboard
Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood
I’m swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body Benz
Serving all this, swerv, surfing all of this good, good

Please note that lyrics might vary slightly based on different versions of the song.

Beyoncé – Drunk in Love (Explicit) ft. JAY Z

Swooning or Swigging? A Lighthearted Look at ‘Drunk in Love’ Lyrics

Just like a tipsy pilot at the helm, love and alcohol can make us dizzy, disoriented and sometimes a bit nauseous. Yet, somehow, we always find ourselves signing up for another round. So, pop the cork, take a swig, or maybe just a sip, as we embark on an inebriated exploration of ‘drunk in love’ lyrics. I, your slightly intoxicated pilot, will take you on a journey through the mystifying, hilarious, and sometimes disturbing world of love and liquor. Buckle up, and just remember, in the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

Unraveling the Mystical Booze-Infused Love Anthems: Drunk in Love Lyrics

There’s a unique beauty in the intoxicating combination of love and liquor. You know, your heart feels as light as a feather, yet you’re grounded, like you’ve been hit by the heaviest bottle of whiskey. As an old pilot, I’ve often found myself navigating through these mystical booze-infused love anthems, not knowing whether I’m swooning or swigging. Well, maybe both… most likely both.

The allure of these lyrics is akin to the thrill of flying through a thunderstorm with broken navigational systems; you’re terrified but oh boy, the adrenaline is exhilarating. Part of their charm lies in their power to make you feel lost and found all at once. You’re slurring your words, but somehow, they’re the most poetic utterances to ever grace your lips.

Ironically, amidst the chaotic whirlwind these anthems create, they somehow bring a sense of clarity. Much like that one time, I had to land my plane on a deserted island with nothing but a bottle of rum for company. The lyrics, much like my bottle, were my beacon in the storm. And for that, they will always hold a special place in my booze-soaked heart.

Drunk in Love Lyrics: Navigating Love in the Skies

Navigating love in the skies has its own unique set of challenges. You see, when you’re drunk in love, you often have to confront your demons – or in my case, my imaginary monkey. Don’t worry, it’s not a real monkey. It’s a metaphorical creature that appears whenever I pour myself that one extra glass of Scotch.

My dear monkey is a mischievous creature with an uncanny ability to stir up the most profound thoughts. It asks me peculiar questions like, “Is your love for your wife the same as your love for whiskey?” and “Can you distinguish between the warmth of alcohol and the warmth of a lover’s embrace?” These questions, although slightly absurd, force me to delve deeper into the complexities of my love-fueled intoxication.

It’s always a strange, almost surreal experience. But there’s something about the raw honesty of these encounters that makes them strangely liberating. My imaginary monkey, with his probing inquiries, enables me to navigate the tumultuous skies of love – with a bottle of Scotch firmly in hand, of course.

Drunk in Love Lyrics: A Love Story Told From 30,000 Feet

Now, let me introduce you to my stunning co-pilot, my wife. Her beauty is more intoxicating than any liquor I’ve ever tasted. When I look at her, I feel like I’m caught in a perpetual state of being drunk in love. Except, in this case, there’s no hangover, only a blissful sense of euphoria that never fades.

Our love story is quite an adventure, told from 30,000 feet in the air. It’s a tale filled with laughter, tears, and a whole lot of turbulence. But just like flying, it’s the thrill of the journey that makes it all worthwhile. She’s my compass, my co-pilot, my confidante. The woman who makes my heart soar higher than any plane ever could.

Despite the occasional turbulent weather and bumpy rides, I wouldn’t trade our journey for anything. Because at the end of the day, being drunk in love with her is the most satisfying intoxication I’ve ever experienced. So here’s to my beautiful wife, the whiskey of my life, the wind beneath my wings.

So there you have it, a lighthearted look at ‘drunk in love’ lyrics, told from the perspective of a slightly inebriated, philosophical pilot. You might walk away from this slightly dizzy, perhaps a bit confused, but hopefully, thoroughly entertained. Whether you’re swooning or swigging, remember, love is the greatest journey of all, and it’s always better with a pinch of humor and a dash of spirits. Cheers to that, and as always, thanks for flying with me.