The sky is my stage, my craft my stagecoach, I soar above the clouds, a drunken paradox. My monkey mate by my side, a faithful co-pilot, Together we navigate the skies, we take off and we fly.
Dopamine, my companion, my guide on this flight, It signals reward, my mind in a heightened state. It plays a complex role, but expectation is key, Just like a paycheck, or the song of an ice cream truck, it sets me free.
Classical conditioning, a lesson learned in the past, Ivan Pavlov’s dogs salivated, their reaction unsurpassed. A bell ringing, a signal for a treat to come, My monkey mate and I, we too are conditioned, our journey has begun.
But dopamine is not just pleasure, it’s also stress, It’s a neural transmitter that shapes movement and memory, I must confess. My monkey mate and I, we expect the reward, A sip of juice, a sip of whiskey, our relationship never to be ignored.
We fly above the clouds, with dopamine as our guide, Our minds in a heightened state, our senses open wide. We are the drunken pilots, with monkey mates by our side, We soar through the skies, our journey never to collide.
My dopaminergic neurons fire, my monkey mate by my side, We expect the reward, and together we’ll glide. Through the clouds, through the skies, our journey never ends, With dopamine as our guide, and monkey mates as our friends.
So, a group of monkeys were hanging out in the jungle one day, chatting about their love lives. One particularly amorous monkey was bragging about how many mates he had, when suddenly a pilot crashed his plane nearby.
The monkeys rushed over to see if the pilot was okay, and they found him stumbling around, clearly drunk. One of the monkeys, feeling a bit mischievous, snatched a bottle of booze from the pilot’s hand and took a swig.
Suddenly, the monkey’s brain was flooded with dopamine, and he felt a rush of pleasure unlike anything he had ever experienced. From that moment on, he couldn’t stop thinking about that sweet, sweet dopamine hit, and he spent all his time trying to get his paws on more booze.
The other monkeys just shook their heads and said, “Looks like someone’s got a new mate!”
I have had the pleasure of traveling all around the world. And as a lover of local culture and exotic drinks, I have also had the pleasure of sampling the local booze in every country I visit. But let me tell you, there are some drinks that are a bit more monkey-licious than others.
Go: Brazil Drink: Cachaça Meet: Mico Azul
Take for example, the time I visited Brazil and tried their infamous cachaça. I had a few too many and suddenly, I saw a monkey swinging from the trees. This was no ordinary monkey, mind you. It had bright blue fur, a long tail, and big, googly eyes. It was a blue monkey, or as the locals call it, mico azul.
Stumbling towards it, I saw it look at me as if I was its long lost friend. Reaching out to touch it, it jumped onto my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck. Unbelievable! A new friend had been made, and it was a blue monkey.
I spent the whole day with my new friend, exploring the lush green forests of Brazil. We climbed trees, swam in rivers, and ate all sorts of exotic fruits. But as the sun began to set, my new buddy disappeared back into the trees, leaving me with a newfound appreciation for the wonders of nature.
But my adventures with monkeys didn’t end there. Oh no, the next time I found myself in Thailand, I made the mistake of trying some local moonshine. It was some of the most potent stuff I had ever tasted, and before I knew it, I was seeing double.
And then I saw it. A monkey unlike any I had ever seen before. It was small and had a bright orange coat of fur, with a long, bushy tail. It was a macaque, and it was stealing fruit from a street vendor’s cart.
I approached it, stumbling and slurring my words, but it didn’t seem to mind. It even offered me a banana, which I gratefully accepted. We sat there, munching on fruit and watching the chaos of the city go by. For a moment, I forgot about everything else and was just happy to be in the moment with my new monkey friend.
Go: African Jungle Drink: Palm Wine Meet: Baboon
But as much as I loved my little macaque monkey buddy, it was time to move on. And my travels eventually led me to the jungles of Africa, where I tried some local palm wine. It was sweet and fruity, but it also had a bit of a kick to it.
And that’s when I met the baboon. This was no ordinary baboon, mind you. It was enormous, with a mane of shaggy hair and teeth as big as my fingers. But despite its fearsome appearance, it seemed to take a liking to me.
We roamed the jungles together, and I felt like I was in a dream. I had a giant baboon for a companion, and we were having the time of our lives. We swung through the trees, chased each other around, and even took a dip in a river.
But as the effects of the palm wine began to wear off, I realized that I needed to return to reality. I said goodbye to my baboon friend, and it disappeared back into the jungle. I was left with memories of some of the most incredible experiences of my life.
So, the next time you find yourself in a new country, don’t be afraid to try the local booze. Who knows? You may just make a new monkey friend.
It’s no secret that flying can be a stressful experience. But when you add in the possibility of having to sober up a drunk pilot at the controls, it can be downright terrifying. Flying can be stressful enough on its own.
According to a study by the National Transportation Safety Board, alcohol was a factor in nearly 10% of all general aviation accidents from 1990 to 2012. And while that may not seem like a lot, it’s important to remember that even one drunk pilot is one too many.
The consequences of flying while intoxicated are severe. If caught, pilots face stiff fines and possible jail time. They also risk losing their pilot’s license and endangering the lives of everyone on board.
So what do you do if you find yourself on a plane with a drunk pilot? In this blog post, we’ll give you a step-by-step guide to sobering up a drunk pilot. We’ll also tell you what to do if you can’t manage to get them sober.
The Problem: Drunk Pilots.
The dangers of flying while intoxicated are well-documented and numerous. Drunk pilots are more likely to make mistakes, both in the air and on the ground, that can jeopardize the safety of themselves and their passengers. In addition, flying while under the influence of alcohol or drugs can negatively affect a pilot’s coordination, judgment, and reaction time – all critical skills for safe flying.
The Consequences of Getting Caught Flying Drunk.
The consequences for getting caught flying drunk can be severe, both professionally and legally. Pilots who are found to be impaired while flying may face disciplinary action from their airline, up to and including termination of employment. In addition, they may be subject to criminal charges and fines, as well as a loss of their pilot’s license.
The Solution: Sobering Up a Drunk Pilot.
The first step in sobering up a drunk pilot is to get them off the plane and into a safe environment. If they are still on the plane, find a way to get them off as quickly as possible. Once they are off the plane, find a quiet place for them to sit or lie down.
The next step is to start the process of rehydrating them. This can be done by giving them water or an electrolyte drink like Gatorade. It is important to make sure they are drinking slowly and not too much at once, as this can cause vomiting.
After rehydration, the next step is to assess how intoxicated the pilot is. This can be done by observing their behavior and asking questions about how much alcohol they have consumed. If the pilot appears very intoxicated, it may be necessary to call for medical assistance.
Once you have determined how intoxicated the pilot is, you can start working on sobering them up. For pilots who are only mildly intoxicated, coffee or energy drinks may be enough to sober them up. For more severely intoxicated pilots, it may be necessary to give them oxygen or have them inhale smelling salts. In some cases, it may even be necessary to pump the pilots’ stomachs if they have consumed large amounts of alcohol.
If you’re a pilot who has been drinking, it’s important to sober up before getting behind the controls of an airplane. Flying while intoxicated is extremely dangerous and can have serious consequences if you’re caught.
Sobering up a drunk pilot isn’t always easy, but it’s crucial to do if you want to avoid disaster. Follow the steps outlined in this blog post to help a drunk pilot sober up quickly and safely. If you can’t manage to sober them up, don’t let them fly – it’s not worth the risk.
Captain Bob is an alcoholic pilot. He had always been a bit of a party animal. He loved nothing more than a good drink and a good time, and as a pilot for a major airline, he had plenty of opportunities to indulge in both.
But one day, everything changed for Captain Bob. He had a close call while flying a plane full of passengers and realised that his drinking had gotten out of control. To keep his job and reputation as an alcoholic pilot intact, Captain Bob knew he needed to make a change.
So, Captain Bob made the difficult decision to sober up. It wasn’t easy, and at first, he struggled to adjust to life without alcohol. But with the help of a strong support system and a lot of hard work, he managed to turn things around as an alcoholic pilot.
As Captain Bob flew his planes, he found himself constantly checking in with the passengers. He was trying to hide his fear of heights and his newfound sobriety. Constantly asking them how they were doing, he offered passengers drinks and snacks to keep them distracted.
Sudden Change From an Alcoholic Pilot
His colleagues and passengers were a bit puzzled by Captain Bob’s sudden change in behaviour as an alcoholic pilot. However, they appreciated his efforts to make them feel comfortable. They didn’t know that he was struggling with his own inner demons. They were happy to have a friendly and attentive pilot at the helm.
Captain Bob’s story is a testament to the power of change and the importance of facing our fears head on. He may have had a rocky start as an alcoholic pilot, but he proved that it’s never too late to turn things around and fly straight. So, if you ever find yourself on a plane with Captain Bob, be sure to give him a smile and a pat on the back – he’s earned it as an alcoholic pilot.
As the night wore on at Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club in Winslow, Arizona. Jack found himself feeling more and more adventurous. He had always been fascinated by drones, and after a few too many beers. He couldn’t resist the temptation to take his out for a spin.
Despite the protests of his friends and the bartender. Who pointed out that he was in no condition to fly. Jack was determined to show off his skills. And so, with a fierce determination in his eyes and a wobbly step. He made his way out to the parking lot of Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club, where he had left his drone.
But as Jack soared through the sky, the monkey seemed to grow more and more mischievous. It was constantly trying to lick Jack’s feet and convince him to go higher and higher, even as Jack tried to keep the drone under control. The crowd at Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club were going absolutely bananas.
Despite the challenges, Jack couldn’t help but laugh with delight as he chased after birds and soared through the air like a playful monkey. As he soared through the sky, the feeling of freedom and joy that consumed him was like nothing he had ever encountered. It was as if he had been reborn, and the world was his playground.
Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club
Eventually, Jack’s drunken escapades came to an end. As he crashed his drone into a tree and passed out on the ground outside. But even as he slept, he dreamt of flying his imaginary monkey through the clouds, feeling a sense of excitement and adventure that he had never known before.
When Jack woke up the next morning, he had a pounding headache and a bruised ego. But he couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the incredible experience he had had the night before. And as he stumbled back into Bojo’s Grill & Sports Club to nurse his hangover. He made a mental note to himself to stick to the brewery’s signature IPA in the future – it was the best beer at the bar, after all.
Waking up abruptly, the decision was made to make a change. I had heard about this thing called a “dopamine fast,” where you abstain from all pleasurable activities for a set period of time in order to reset your brain’s reward system. I was skeptical, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to give it a try.
I’ve always been a bit of a wild one. I love nothing more than a good drink and a smoke, and I could barely function without my morning cup of coffee. But as I approached my 40th birthday, I started to feel like something was missing. I wasn’t as happy as I used to be, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was stuck in a rut.
I set a goal for myself: 30 days of no alcohol, no cigarettes, no coffee, no phones, no television, no sex, no masturbation, and no going to the toilet for pleasure. It was going to be a real challenge, but I was determined to see it through.
The first few days of the dopamine fast were absolute torture! I was practically climbing the walls with irritation and boredom. Every little thing set me off and all I could think about was the things I had given up. But I refused to let those cravings get the best of me. I gritted my teeth and powered through, telling myself that this suffering was all for the greater good. Or at least, that’s what I kept telling myself to get through it.
Dopamine Fast: No Alcohol, No Cigarettes
Giving up cigarettes and alcohol for a whole month on this dopamine fast is a monumental task. It’s like trying to fly a plane without any fuel – you just start to sputter and die. The first few days are rough, with withdrawal symptoms that would make even the hardiest of drinkers cry. But as the days go on, something strange starts to happen. Suddenly, I’m feeling more alert and awake. My skin starts to clear up and my breath doesn’t smell like an ashtray. It’s almost like I’m a new man. But then again, maybe it’s just the lack of alcohol talking. Either way, I’m sticking with this sobriety thing for the month. Now pass me a bottle of water, I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be a long flight.
Dopamine Fast: No Coffee, No phone, No Television
As a pilot, let me tell you, restricting myself to having no coffee, no phone, and no television has been a real challenge. But the biggest surprise of all has been the sudden reappearance of my old friend, the imaginary monkey.
You see, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of that little guy in since I started my dopamine fast. But as soon as I cut out the caffeine and the screens, he came bouncing back into my life like he never left. At first, I was a little wary of having him around. After all, he can be a bit of a handful at times. But as it turns out, having an imaginary monkey as a companion has its perks. He’s always up for a good game of hide and seek, and he never complains about my terrible singing. In fact, he’s starting to become a bit of a fixture in my life. Who knew that giving up coffee and screens could lead to such unexpected friendships?
Dopamine Fast: No Sex, No Masturbation
I’ve found that abstaining from sex and masturbation can be a real buzzkill. Suddenly, all those long flights start to feel like an eternity and the only thing I can think about is finding a friendly stewardess to help me reach new heights. But alas, I’ve got to keep my hands to myself and my monkey grounded. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta fly the plane.
As the days went on, I started to notice some unexpected side effects. I was sleeping better than I had in years, and I had more energy during the day. It was also discovered that concentration was easier and mistakes were less likely to be made.
No Going To The Toilet For Pleasure
Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like the rush of relief that comes from a good bathroom break. But when you stop going to the toilet for pleasure, things can get a little… backed up, shall we say. Suddenly, all those long flights start to feel like a marathon and the only thing I can think about is finding a quiet corner to take care of business. It’s a tough balancing act, trying to fly a plane and hold it in at the same time. But hey, at least I’m saving a few trees by not using all that toilet paper.
I was thrilled with these results, and I was even more excited when I started to feel more joyful and content. It was like I had finally broken out of the rut I had been stuck in, and I was starting to see the world in a whole new light.
But the best part came on the last day of the dopamine fast, when I was finally able to enjoy a cold beer again. It tasted better than I remembered, and I savored every last drop. Also, the prospect of being able to spank the monkey again had me practically bouncing off the walls with anticipation!
I knew that I couldn’t stay on the dopamine fast forever, but I also knew that it had been a valuable experience. I have made a promise to myself to incorporate some of the lessons I had learned into my daily routine, and I have vowed to be more mindful of the things that brought me pleasure.
I’m a pilot, and I’ve had a few too many Canadian Clubs. I’m also accompanied by my trusty imaginary monkey, who is always up for an adventure and scared shitless of grizzly bears. Today, we’re headed to the beautiful mountain town of Whistler to go snowboarding in the springtime.
As we fly over the stunning snow-capped peaks, I can feel the excitement building. The monkey is practically bouncing off the walls of the cockpit, chattering away excitedly. We land smoothly at the airport, and soon we’re on our way to the slopes.
The springtime weather in Whistler is perfect for snowboarding – warm sun and soft, slushy snow. It’s also prime conditions for coming across grizzly bears. We hit the runs hard, shredding up and down the mountain with reckless abandon. The monkey is a natural on the board, nailing every trick with ease.
But our fun is almost cut short when we encounter a grizzly bear on the slopes. The monkey springs into action, fearlessly fighting off the beast with a flurry of fists and feet. It’s a tough battle, but in the end, the monkey emerges victorious. We cheer and high-five, grateful to be safe and alive.
But the monkey isn’t done yet – it’s determined to continue the party. So we head to the nearest bar, where the monkey proceeds to fight off a beer, chugging it down in one swift motion. Impressive, to say the least.
As the night wears on, we continue to celebrate our victory over the grizzly bear and the beer. It’s been a wild and crazy day, but it’s one that we’ll never forget.
As the sobering light of dawn touches our faces, we begin to feel the effects of our excess. Headaches and dry mouths plague us, and we all silently vow to never drink that much again.
Despite the hangovers, we can’t help but smile at the memories we’ve made. It was a day we’ll never forget – facing down a grizzly bear and emerging victorious, then celebrating with too much beer. It’s not a story we’ll be able to tell just anyone, but it’s one we’ll treasure for the rest of our lives.
“I can’t believe my pilot friend is at it again, stumbling around and barely able to keep upright. Every time he has a few drinks, he thinks he’s invincible and ends up making a complete fool of himself.
But you know what they say – monkeys always land on their feet. Unfortunately, my pilot friend doesn’t seem to have that same ability. Every time he tries to make his way to the bathroom, he ends up crashing into walls and knocking over furniture.
I’ve tried to intervene and help him, but he just waves me off and insists he’s fine. But he’s not fine – he’s drunk, and he needs to sober up before he hurts himself or someone else.
I know he likes to have a good time, and I’m all for letting loose every now and then. But there’s a limit, and he needs to learn to control himself.
I just hope he realizes that before it’s too late. Until then, I’ll be here to catch him when he falls and make sure he doesn’t do any permanent damage.”
Pilot Friend Monologue
“Ah, that darn monkey of mine! Always worrying about me and my drinking habits. I mean, I’m a grown man and I can take care of myself.
Sure, I may be a bit tipsy right now, but I can still stand up when I need to go to the bathroom. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to fall or anything.
I’ve been drinking for years and I know how to handle myself. I don’t need some imaginary monkey of mine hovering over me, worrying that I can’t do something as simple as stand up and walk to the bathroom.
As a pilot friend of mine once said, with the right balance of caution and confidence, you can keep enjoying your drinks without having to worry about the consequences.
I can handle myself and I don’t need to be coddled like a baby. That’s just the way I am, and I’m sure any other pilot friend of mine would feel the same way.”
As the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2022, I made a vow to myself: this would be the year that I finally put an end to my monkey hallucinations while flying my plane. It had been a tough year, to say the least. There were several close calls and a couple of emergency landings that were all caused by my monkey distractions. It is time for a change in New Year 2023.
2022: I definitely have some issues
Tackling this problem wasn’t easy, but I was determined to do whatever it took. I started by seeking help from a therapist, who prescribed me a medication to help regulate my brain chemistry. It wasn’t a quick fix, but over time, I began to notice a difference in my mental clarity while in the cockpit.
I also made a conscious effort to take better care of myself overall. I started exercising regularly and eating a healthier diet, which helped to improve my overall physical and mental well-being. And when the urge to hallucinate about monkeys would strike, I found that taking deep breaths and focusing on the present moment helped to bring me back to reality. Let’s hope New Year 2023 I can banish the monkey for good.
As the months went by, my flying improved significantly. My colleagues and passengers noticed the difference, and I received several compliments on my newfound focus and professionalism. I was finally able to fully immerse myself in the task at hand and give my undivided attention to the safety and comfort of those on board.
But the real test came when I was faced with a particularly difficult flight. The weather was turbulent and the conditions were less than ideal, but I remained calm and focused thanks to the techniques I had learned and practiced over the past year. When we landed safely at our destination, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Looking back on 2022, I can honestly say that it was a transformative year for me. I may have had a rocky start, but I ended the year as a more confident and competent pilot. And as I prepare to welcome New Year 2023, I’m excited to see what new challenges and opportunities the future holds.
New Year 2023: Onwards and upwards
It seems that not much has changed since I made my New Year 2022’s resolution to stop hallucinating about monkeys while flying. Despite my efforts to seek help from a therapist and take care of myself physically and mentally, the monkeys just won’t go away.
But rather than letting this disappointment defeat me, I’ve decided to turn to blogging as a way to find inner peace and share my wildest thoughts with the world. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I believe that sharing my experiences and struggles can help me make sense of them and potentially even help others who may be going through similar struggles.
I know that my journey to overcome my monkey hallucinations and improve my overall well-being won’t be easy, but I’m determined to keep working towards my goals for this New Year 2023. And by documenting my progress and thoughts on my blog, I hope to not only help myself, but also inspire and connect with others who may be struggling with their own challenges. Here’s to a new year, a new beginning, and a new outlet for self-discovery and growth.
And here we go again… another drunk start
As I sit here, typing this final entry for the year, I can’t help but feel a little bit drunk. And to top it off, the monkey is back, licking my feet clean as I sit at my desk. I suppose this is just another reminder that my journey towards inner peace and monkey-free flying is far from over.
But rather than letting this bring me down, I choose to embrace the craziness of it all and send my best wishes to all of you for a happy and healthy new year. Here’s to hoping that New Year 2023 brings us all the joy, growth, and monkey-free moments that we deserve. Cheers!
It seems that every time our dear pilot takes a sip of his favorite red monkey wine, his imaginary monkey companion appears by his side. Some may think this monkey is simply a figment of his imagination, brought on by the effects of the alcohol. But those who know our pilot well will tell you that this monkey has been a constant companion for as long as they can remember.
At first glance, one might assume that this monkey is just a mischievous sidekick, causing trouble and getting our pilot into all sorts of shenanigans. But upon closer inspection, it becomes apparent that this monkey is actually a source of comfort and joy for our pilot. He’s the perfect sidekick for enjoying monkey wine.
Whenever the monkey appears, the pilot can’t help but smile and laugh at its silly antics. And while some may see this monkey as a burden, our pilot wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, he often goes out of his way to make sure he has a bottle of wine on hand just so he can spend time with his beloved monkey.
So the next time you see our pilot with a bottle of red monkey wine in hand and a monkey by his side, don’t be too quick to judge. Chances are, he’s just enjoying the company of his beloved imaginary friend.
Monkey wine is the perfect choice for unleashing your imagination! It’s sweet, complex flavor has a subtle hint of mischief that will help you unlock your creative side and explore new ideas. Plus, its low ABV means you won’t get too tipsy while brainstorming and can stay focused on your work. So next time you’re looking for a way to spark your creativity, reach for a bottle of Monkey wine and let your imagination take flight!